


Swipe Left

by pipermca



Series: Sparkr Stories [2]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Dick Pics, Humor, M/M, Spike pics, dating app
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 05:23:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12029052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pipermca/pseuds/pipermca
Summary: Sideswipe matches up with Ratchet on a dating app, and tries to entice Ratchet with a photo.





	Swipe Left

Juggling the packages in his arms, Sunstreaker fumbled at the door of the apartment he shared with his brother. “Sides?” he called once he finally got the door open. “You home?”

“Yeah,” came Sideswipe’s voice from the living room.

The yellow mech came around the corner and settled the packages on a table. “I left two more boxes out in the hall. Can you –“ Sunstreaker finally looked at Sideswipe and took in his twin, the position he had contorted his frame into, and what he was doing. “What the… Sides!” he exclaimed in disbelief. “What in the Pit are you doing?”

“Taking a picture,” Sideswipe calmly replied, carefully adjusting the position of his comm pad.

“Of your spike?!” Sunstreaker covered his optics and turned away. “No. Stop. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know why you’re doing that.”

“All right.”

Sunstreaker, carefully keeping his optics averted, went to retrieve his last two boxes from the hallway. He stacked them on the table with the others and looked at his twin again. The red mech had apparently finished taking his photo, but his spike was still pressurized. Sideswipe absently rubbed a hand along its length as he tapped at his comm pad with his thumb. “Primus, Sideswipe. Can’t you do that in your room?”

Sideswipe shrugged. “You weren’t home. I’ll be done in a few kliks.”

With a loud grumble, Sunstreaker grabbed some of the boxes and carried them into his room. He started unpacking the boxes before yelling “I can hear you!” 

When there was no response, he finally turned off his audials so he didn’t have to listen to the growing sounds of panting and the soft scrape of metal on spike mesh coming from the couch. 

The yellow mech focused on arranging the new paints and brushes in his cupboard. When he was nearly done, he turned towards the door and jumped when he saw Sideswipe standing in the doorway of his room, casually leaning on the door frame and staring at his comm pad. Thankfully, his spike was hidden again behind his interface array’s cover. 

Sunstreaker turned his audials back on and said truthfully, “I didn’t hear you come in.” He put the last set of brushes into their storage box and looked at his brother, exventing heavily. “All right, fine. I’ll bite. What were you doing?”

Sideswipe looked up from his comm pad and grinned. “I thought it was pretty obvious. I was taking a picture of my spike.”

Glowering at Sideswipe, Sunstreaker asked, “ **Why** were you taking a picture of your spike?”

Waving his comm pad, Sideswipe replied, “To send to this mech I matched with on Sparkr.” He started to take a step into Sunstreaker’s room before remembering The Rules. Rule Number One was: No Sideswipes in Sunstreaker’s room. “Come here, I’ll show you.”

Rolling his optics, Sunstreaker walked past his brother back into the living room to collect the rest of his packages. Sideswipe trailed after him. “This one, see? Designation’s Ratchet. A medic. He’s got that whole mature mech look going on.” The red mech’s engine revved quietly. “You know how that gets me going.”

Sunstreaker glanced at the image on Sideswipe’s comm pad, then he stared at his twin. “So you like this mech because he looks ‘mature,’ but you’re sending him a picture of your spike?”

“Yeah, I want him to be prepared for when we finally meet!”

Shaking his helm, Sunstreaker carried his packages back into his room. “Yeah. I’m really sure he’s never seen a spike like yours before,” he said, sarcasm dripping in his tone.

“Aah, you’re just jealous.”

“Not of your ‘equipment,’ that’s for sure.”

A few kliks later, both mechs were settled in the living room. Sunstreaker had grabbed the novel that he’d wanted to finish, while Sideswipe was playing a game on his comm pad. His pad chirped.

“Ah, Ratchet responded!” Sideswipe exclaimed. He laughed. “He wants to know if I’ve been to a medic lately.” Sideswipe read out his reply as he tapped it into the app. “No, but I wouldn’t mind if you’d play doctor to me.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Again, you’re just jealous.”

“I’m jealous of other mechs who don’t have you for a twin.”

A klik went by, then Sideswipe’s pad chirped again. He read the message, then read it again. His mouth curved into a frown and his eyeridges knitted themselves together.

Watching his twin’s reaction, Sunstreaker smirked. “Let me guess. He told you to frag off.”

“No...” Sideswipe sat up straight and started tapping a reply. “He said... Listen, he said, ‘No, seriously, I think you need to get that looked at.’” Sideswipe looked up at his brother. “What’s he talking about?”

Sunstreaker shrugged. “I have no idea.”

Sideswipe tapped another response, then stared at his comm pad until it chirped again. His optics opened wide. “’It’s hard to tell from the pic, but it looks like you have a case of spike corrosion getting started. If you haven’t already, I would make an appointment to have it checked immediately!’” Sideswipe’s voice climbed in volume and pitch as he read the message out loud. He stared at Sunstreaker. “What’s spike corrosion??” he demanded.

“I don’t know!” Sunstreaker exclaimed. He dropped his optics to his novel again. “But I wouldn’t be surprised if you had caught something, the way you’ve hopping from berth to berth lately.”

Tapping on his pad furiously, Sideswipe grumbled. “It hasn’t been that many. It’s just been... been...” Sideswipe began counting on his fingers, then started again when he reached his last digit. “Um... sixteen in the past... um... orbital cycle.”

Sunstreaker pursed his lips and nodded. “Yeah. Berth hopping.” He ducked the pillow that was thrown at his helm.

 _Chirp._ “Oh frag!” Sideswipe moaned. “Frag me. He said, ‘Spike corrosion causes the mesh of the spike to deterioriate until –‘“ Sideswipe choked. “’...until it **falls off**??’” He looked back up at his twin. “Sunny! What if my spike falls off?”

“Then you’ll be stuck using your valve all the time,” Sunstreaker mumbled into his novel.

Suddenly Sideswipe was standing next to Sunstreaker’s chair. The yellow mech glanced at his brother and then covered his optics. “Augh! Sides! What are you doing? Put that away!”

“Tell me if it looks like my spike is corroding!” Sideswipe pleaded. “C’mon Sunny, just look! I can’t see the underside of it! Please?!”

Still shielding his optics, Sunstreaker got up from his chair and stomped back into his room. “Take a picture of it and check for yourself!”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by my poor sister's experience with dating apps, and conversations I've seen online like [this one](https://imgur.com/a/mUUp3).


End file.
